Friday, 16 March 2007

Joss Stone Gives 'Big Love' for Tracks

Now I can't pretend I totally understand this man, he is talking fluent American after all, but the jist appears to be that our beloved Joss Stone, she of the vomit clothes and hair like a hippy Ronald Mc Donald, screws producers in order to get songs written for her.
I think she may have been hitting the wrong ting though, because her songs are poooooooooo.
She should of had a crack at Timbaland, the reasons for Nelly's ho-tastic comeback suddenly becoming all too clear....

p.s Joss Stone's thankyou list for her album was so big it's all online. I will spare you reading the 7,000 odd words, but here are the highlights:

" serene, what can i say? GIRL, YOU CAN COOK! no joke, that was some serious cheesecake."

"thank u to everyone who helped to make the vision come to life."

" khari parker, you’re crazy on those drums, man. you’re like the bigger, blacker version of mary poppins"

"i can’t imagine what’s going on in your head. it’s like you have a computer built in ur brain somewhere. you’re so young and have a great ear. i have a feeling your life going forward is gonna be a great one – busy, but great"

"steve was my engineer when i was writing, so somehow a bunch of basian sayings came up. steve makes a song including quite alot of the sayings. the lyrics were this: “you cant rub sh** in my mouth and tell me it looks good" of course with accent, the whole thing."

"a humongous thank you to meres the artist who painted us. it took hours."

"James brown, i’m on a plane right now writing all this. since you died, i haven’t even been able to listen to ur music let alone talk to anyone about u."

"fact: lauryn hill is not crazy or racist. i have the proof. so whoever it is who started that rumour, i believe should put a call in to miss hill and apologise for the heartache and stress and unnecessary frustration that has been put on her family for that remark. did this person (you know who you are and are lucky i do not)"

" all my love to the music, god, my family, my friends. my dogs dusty springfield and missy elliott,"

Oh god I can't read any more, my brain is melting. if your grey matter is made of sterner stuff!