Saturday, 29 March 2008

Wednesday, 19 March 2008

Random Wikipedia Factoid of the Day

"Erica attended Robert Fulton Junior High in Van Nuys, California. During her teenage years, Eleniak became a regular on the San Fernando Valley party circuit and she began to use alcohol and drugs regularly.[2] Steve Ferguson, a quadriplegic who socialised in the same circles as Eleniak, helped curtail her problem by introducing her to Alcoholics Anonymous in 1988 and helping her through her detoxification.[3] Eleniak dated Ferguson for a while and there was talk of an engagement, but the relationship ended and her mother, Iris, ended up marrying Ferguson's father instead.[4]"


Sorry, I have been really crap on the ole blog of real excuses, just feels as if my brain has turned into a wheezing moribund bit of roadkill. Keep checking though, one day soon I will write something so inspired it will blow your socks off and people will quote it for years to come, causing 'Biche' to go down in history as an adjective for 'something really ace'

Tuesday, 11 March 2008

Love Is...

...nicking stuff off THIS website!

Thursday, 6 March 2008

Who Watches the Watchmen?

Geek that I deep down am (well, scratch the surface really) I was quite excited by these photos of Ozymandias, the Nite Owl and the Comedian from the upcoming film of Alan Moore's Watchmen. I was somehow drawn into a massive long ramble about graphic novels just last week, where I waxed lyical about the complex storylines, the art and the skill at being able to convey a wide range of emotions or a whole backstory in just a frame to some family friends. Unfortunately for all my oratorial olympics, every time I paused for breath they would respond 'oh so they are like cartoons right?' or 'like Garfield?' until I imagined a graphic frame of me howling with frustration, causing the walls to shake, fists clenched and face upturned. It would be from above so you saw my upturned face with gritted teeth and eyes desparing, and I am flanked by the two well meaning family friends, one of whom has taken a Peanuts anthology from the shelf and is gesturing to it as if to say 'like this?' The other one would be wearing a cardigan and holding a mug saying 'Abergavenny Jazz Festival 1999' Don't you wish I could draw huh? Anyway, I really hope Watchmen will be good, Moore's other works that have been filmified range from V for Vendetta (v good) and From Hell (alright, but ruined by some shocking accents but saved by Johnny Depp) to The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen (poo, dispite the presence of Stuart Townsend) One thing I wonder is how they are going to film the ending, which has New York being destroyed by a nuclear bomb for a greater good*. Mind you, they did Cloverfield, so I think Hollywood has got over the whole 'thousands of New Yorkers being killed by terrorists seven years ago' thing, those brave resilient Los Angeles producers...

*Well, in a rather large nutshell, but I don't want to ruin the book for people who haven't read it and really really should.

Wednesday, 5 March 2008

Hot Dating Tipz from MSN and the Biche

Okay, I admit it, I was a bit bored at work (at 9.47, which is almost a new record) so when an article called 'How To Tell if They Fancy You' popped up on MSN Today while I was checking my emails, I decided to check it out.*
Quite how anyone who works at MSN has a boyfriend is beyond me, either that or they are so paranoid about it that they have decided to write an article which will deem anyone who follows it to a life of desperate singledom, and thus make the flirting pool a bit smaller.

Below are their fabulous tips, followed by my own interpretation of their supposed 'signs'**

Your date says your name more than usual.Maybe your date says your first and last name, like, “So, Michael Stevens, you up for a night cap after dinner?” Or maybe your date says just your first name three times, like “Kirsty, Kirsty, Kirsty.” Either way, it can be a sign that your date feels so much chemistry, he or she can’t help but connect with your closest possession: your name.

Biche says: If someone says your name a lot it is because they have a coterie of other 'birds' on the go, and the repetition is their way of keeping themselves in check so they don't call you 'Sabrina' or 'Dave' halfway through the meal. If someone says your name three times, like 'Kirsty Kirsty 'Kirsty' they are probably shaking their head in sad disbelief.

Your Date squints at you
When one person fancies another, they’ll give each other a sweet little squint, usually followed by a smile. What gives? It’s an unconscious bit of body language that shows the person is searching for more info about you.

Biche says: When one person wants to pretend the other is someone else, they will give a sweet little squint, usually followed by a smile. This is because through half shut eyes you almost resemble someone vaguely attractive, and when this is achieved your date can happily pretend they are on a hot date at an expensive bistro, not stuck in a Bella Italia with someone who sticks breadsticks up their nose for entertainment.

Your date asks the “why” and “how” questions.
During dinner conversation, any polite date will ask you factual things about your family like, “So, do you have brothers and sisters?” So it’s not necessarily a sign they feel chemistry with you. It is a sign of chemistry, however, if they delve deeper and ask more probing questions. As in, “So, how did you get interested in accounting anyway?” And “Why did you decide to move all the way down south?”

Biche says: During dinner any polite date will ask 'why' and 'how' questions of a deep nature, such as 'so why did you down twelve shots and dance on the bar without any knickers on?' and 'how were you not arrested when you kicked the barman in the face?'
This is what is known as a morbid curiosity.

Your date gets quiet midway through your time together.
Rather than taking your date’s silence as a sign your date has lost interest, it could actually be the opposite: Your date may be feeling such a pull toward you that he or she is lost in thought about it. “Sometimes, a person feels such a strong attraction that instead of nodding and following the conversation, he or she is just contemplating you,” says Wood.

Biche says: If your date falls silent it could be that they are feeling such a strong attraction to you that they cannot speak. Then again, it could be because they're not sure how to respond to 'I mean yeah, so I gave blowjobs for 50p or a can of coke when I was fifteen, but then that's normal right?' or they have regressed so far into their expensive bistro fantasy that they have actually fallen asleep.

You hear “you’re” a lot.
If your date says to you, “You’re great” or “You’re so funny” or “You’re so cool!” or “You’re something else…” then you’re very lucky! Personalising your admiration or approval of a date means a lot; it’s a strong sign of attraction, while statements like, “That’s great” or “That’s funny” don’t mean as much

Biche says: If your date says 'You're so great! You're so funny! You're so cool!' it is a strong sign that are you are wooing a ten year old girl, and that's paedophilia yo..

Your date gives you a token of the evening.
If your date gives you something you can hold onto and look at later, chances are they’re feeling chemistry. Jennifer’s date once picked up a pack of matches from the restaurant they were in and said, “Here, for you.”

Biche says: If your date gives you something to hold onto and look at later, such as the bill, chances are that you have accidentally mistaken that bloke who sells the Big Issue outside the restaurant as your date.

* Out of idle interest yeah? I need no help working out who fancies me. EVERYONE fancies me. Including me. Well, mostly me to be honest...

** TOTALLY not based on my own experiences. I asked for a can of coke and a bag of crisps.

Monday, 3 March 2008

Headline of the Day - 'John Lennon returns to Liverpool - as a 10ft illuminated pie '

The actual news story is quite boring.. a giant Blackpool illumination of John Lennon as a pie has been bought by 'Official City of Culture 2008' Liverpool.

Sunday, 2 March 2008

On the Bed, On the Floor,On the Towel by the Door...

Sarah Silverman and Jimmy Kimmel's hilarious love songs are quite old now (basic moral of this blog appears to be I should post stuff when I see it opposed to when I can be bothered, approximately three months after they are cool and new) but I still nearly 'lol' every time I see Sarah's.. and I guess it makes sense to post Jimmy's too while I am here, even though he covers his lack of wit with a boatload of celebrities..

Tattoos 4 Toddlers

I am once again merrily submerged in the world of Miami Ink (much to the annoyance of the Flatmate who does not see the interest or irony in such things) and it reminded me of this ludicrous website.

I think I initially dismissed it as a hoax, but apparently this is not so; I only wish I hadn't been so cynical as there used to be an amazing gallery of this guy's work, which is now scaled back to a few select pics.

Yes ladies and gentlemen, I am talking about Tattoos 4 Toddlers, a company which specialises in PERMANENT (well, ten years) tattoos for ummm... redneck hicks. Well, the kids of redneck hicks.

It's Sunday night, I'm tired, and I trust anyone who reads this site will be clever enough to draw their own conclusions about why tattooing a two year old might not be the best idea in the world, so I will spare you all an 'stating the bleeding obvious' rant on the matter. Instead just conjour up (if you can be bothered...there is quite good telly on now) an image of the Biche frowning at her laptop and going 'Gah! Gnnnnr! Duh!' in an exasperated fashion, and consider the below quote from some 'happy customers':

"My daughter Emily always enjoyed looking at my tattoos. Once my wife Julie and I found out about Tattoos 4 Toddlers we were excited about getting Emily her first tattoo. We felt it was no different than getting her ear's pierced and with only a few more tears."

Yeah, that's Emily in the photo btw... she's had the ear piercings and the tattoo, now all she needs is a kiddie bra and thong for her third birthday and she can go join Mommy at the Pussy Lounge Gentlemen's Club. ("She's so excited about earning back all the dollar Julie lost when her figure went after she gave birth!")

Poor brat, I think her face says it all..

Ha, and completely unrelated fact from le tele.. JFK refused to wear a hat as his hair was his trademark, and he was so influential that he caused a massive drop in hat sales in the USA. So whenever he came to campaign in a town there would always be some poor milliner desperately trying to force a hat upon him to perk up flagging sales!