Is the Metro Showbiz column staffed by monkeys?

Today's little gems:

'Allen shrugged as the cheers erupted for Winehouse, who looked slightly incoherent during her acceptance speech'
First off, Winehouse was not anywhere near incoherent, in fact she seemed remarkably sober as she thanked her parents AND there was at least one shot of Lily smiling and clapping Winehouse.

'Halle Berry cannot understand why she is yet to find a man. 'I'm open, honest and fun so I don't know what the problem is,' she said'
She might well have said this, but certainly not after last summer since she has been going out with a Versace model called Gabriel. Come on, there have been rumors of her pregnancy and engagement since Christmas so the woman is far from single!

'Whitney Houston is having an online auction of items belonging to former husband Bobby Brown. 'I want to clear up my life and this is the start' she said.
Again a case of gossip drawn from an old issue of More! found on the bus - she has already done this...back in January.

' Jodie Marsh is furious a drag queen act is using the name Jodie Harsh. 'People actually think I am performing' Moaned the glamour model. 'And she is ugly''

Hmm, she sure looks furious to me...

First off, Jodie Harsh has been established as one of London's premier drag queens for quite a while now, and this photo is at least a year old.

Secondly, I doubt anyone would think Marsh not Harsh was performing as Harsh hosts the Circus night at Soho Review Bar, the poster for which always has a massive photo of her on..

Thirdly, Harsh is better looking than Marsh anyway!

It makes me mad to think that this time next week I will be unemployed, yet the Metro actually pay people like Neil Sean to regurgitate months old rumours as fact and then fill in the gaps with lazyily made up lies!
AND he looks like a smug twat.

Release the dogs!