Thursday, 15 February 2007

Biche does a Perez Hilton

I'm actually quite pleased about Britney's recent long dark skank of the soul, if only because I always maintained she was a bit fug (no waist! The woman has no waist and a fat nose) and clearly had no taste (I mean, she was collecting faries in a completely un-ironic fashion as early as 2001, THE SIGNS WERE THERE!)
I guess it's just a shame she decided to reproduce before going on a mad tequilla soaked, vomit splattered bisexual bender, but then it's not like she was ever going to be a stay at home mum, and to a six month old there is little difference between 'mum off recording an album' and 'mum off flashing her bits around town like a two penny hooer'
Speaking of two pennies, these are mine on the matter...

I think she should do a swap with Christina Aguilera, she's all nice and settled down these days (admittedly she's settled down in 1945, but I'm sure she employs someone to stoke her coal fire and wind up the car) ... a couple of sprogs in exchange for some old leather chaps and a bulk load of black eyeshadow seems fair!

Maybe it's the scout uniform, but how cool would she be as a mother? I imagine little Jayden and theotherone running around playing hide and seek in a big garden as Christina counts to ten, poops her horn and runs to find them before they all run inside, red cheeked and glowing for some Bovril and Spam Fritters... sure would beat the rounds of 'find Mommy's fags and Cheetos' chez the Spears residence (which I imagine to be like The Heart is Decietful Above All Things but with more faries and a plush peach decour)

On reflection this a boring and rather Americanised blog...I blame the five hours of MTV I have watched today. Will do better in future, I promise.


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