Sunday, 20 January 2008

Happy 2008 ,You Bastard..

I recently received a desk calendar from a law firm who shall remain nameless. Most big companies shunt out branded crap around this time of the year, and desk calendars are popular as ideally it means you will plonk it on your desk and therefore be reminded of aforementioned big company for the next 52 weeks of the year.

Usually there is an inane theme like 'drawings by kids of the board members' or 'stock photos of seasonally relevent landscapes'.

This firm, either as a reflection of itself, or how it percieves it clientele, appears to have chosen the theme 'Cunty cliche work quotes for the office bastard in your life'Why not spend April 2008 shoving this in the face of anyone who asks you if you could possibly not answer the phone going 'What?' swiftly followed by 'Dunno. Dunno. Well fuck you too Tonto'

June 2008 - the sun will be shining, Glastonbury Festival will be kicking off, you will be in a perpetual sarky sulk because every time you glance at this calendar it both reaffirms your belief that you are a misunderstood by every single one of the 700 plebs you have to work with, and makes you chuckle, you absolute cunt.

July 2008 will be spent pushing around pencils, sighing in a loud irritating fashion and checking your eye wrinkles in the back of a CD (if over 30) and pushing around pencils, sighing in a loud irritating fashion and looking up 1980's cartoons on Wikipedia (if under 30)

2008 will be rounded off by using this quote every time your boss asks you why you have spent all day mooching around the office trying to nick as many different departments' homemade mince pies as possible. They will then prompty fire you and you will spend the Christmas break trying to work out what made you act like such a massive bastard this year.

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