Scary dolls of Wood Green - an occasional series

Aah the Letchy Unsavoury Loves Arse limited edition vinyl doll... a faithful rendition of the sort of gay alcoholic tramp that occasionally frequents Soho Square - hawaiian shirt? Check. Face distorted and battered through years of alcohol abuse? Check. Fist clenched ready to off any young twinks who spurn his advances? Check. Cock hanging out of star spangled pantaloons...

The Anne Geddes Collection* - bean filled representations that prove once and for all that bestiality is wrong. What better way to educate your child of this irrefutable fact than to buy them a stillborn human-animal hybrid in a box?

The ratbaby is admittedly quite appropriate for Wood Green, situated in the borough of Haringey, best known for A Life of Grime and the Baby P scandal....


*I love that being a 'collection' it means that somewhere, someone has got a whole shelf of dead animalbabies lovingly displayed. It must look like aftermath of some hideous genetic experiment or possibly a nuclear explosion in the nursery of Fuckedupland.

Rampantly Popularist Interlude

Look, look there is a tube map. Lovely. This is an unashamed attempt by me to get more people to this site, even if it's only because they are google imaging 'tube map' or some such.

Oh yeah, and you can now follow me on twitter, should you be wondering whether I have actually died or fallen off the earth this time, or if work is just a little bit busy and I can't think of anything funny to write.

I bang the worst dudes

Well, not me. *cough* *shuffle*

This is a rather amusing-if-possibly fake website where women can upload pictures of their awful lays and basically explain to the world why it was a matter of the earth needing to swallow them up rather than moving, as such.

On one hand, it's a funny read. On the other you kind of think that if this was a website about women, then everyone would be up in arms. Poor men, no one stands up for them.

www.sorrymom.tumblr.com

"What fresh hell is this?"

...were apparently John Waters' words while making Cry Baby, which was beset by disaster after disaster, from torrential rain to one of the main actors, pornstar Traci Lords, being caught up in a massive scandal when it was revealed she had been underage for basically all her porn career.

Being fidgetty of nature I can't watch a film without simeoultaneously googling it, and one thing I was curious about was what Kim 'Hatchet Face' McGuire looked like without all her makeup. And then whether she was dead or not, as one of the only pictures of her on the net is from www.findadeath.com. (She aint, the guy who runs the site got a fan pic of her and anecdotally linked it into a different actor's obituary, unfortunately with the tag 'www.findadeath.com' stamped right across it, so has inadvertantly sparked off an urban myth that she has died. Well, I assume it is an urban myth, there is no other evidence of her death online)


As Hatchet Face in Cry Baby

With Johnny Depp back in t'day at some sort of premiere I would imagine

Screenshot from 'It Came From Baltimore' the bonus documentary on the DVD which could have saved me a lot of googling.

Other interesting point of note is that when Traci was facing arrest, to make her feel better, the cast and crew all admitted what they had been arrested for in the past. ("Grand Theft Auto!" "White Slavery!" and "Kidnapping! But not really I swear!" were apparently among them, which doesn't seem that comforting to be honest) The young and slightly naive Amy Locane, feeling left out because she hadn't ever been put in the clink, turns to Patti Hearst, (in a cameo role as Traci Lord's mother) and asks 'but you haven't ever been arrested, have you?'

Pretty much sums up East London...

'If you're not from Hackney stop begging and go back to your own ends. We have no use for you'

'Yes you do, you could mug us or something'

History NOW

Happy Inaugeration bitches...

Can I get a reeeewiiind?

I've just redone my old post on Paris is Burning.

I think you should read.