Monday 2 April 2007

Important Issues Affecting the World Today


* Is it wrong to want the British sailors in Iran to be released, not for any huge political reason, but because at least one of them is quite fit? (in a young-ish kind of way)

*Why has no one ever suggested soup as a viable breakfast option? It is filling, nutricious, speeds up the metabolism, is an extra vegtable a day and
would also mean the flatmate would stop giving me weird looks at I enjoy my bowl of carrot and lentils infront of Jeremy Kyle.


*When did Jeremy Kyle turn into such a cunt? I remember when he first came on tv a year or so ago we really liked his refreshing honesty and the way he cut alcoholic abusive husbands down to size. Now he shouts at EVERYONE, which is especially jarring when he picks on 16 year old crackheads with four children who were abused as children and beaten up by their boyfriends. I can think of nicer ways to say 'YOU KNOW WHAT DARLING? YOU MAKE ME SICK. GET OFF YOUR ARSE AND GET A JOB YOU SCROUNGING WHORE'. Actually no, I can't, but I don't get off on making disadvantaged little girls feel like pieces of shit, so what do I know?

Then what happens is that the mong audience appluase like mad and they bring out the girl's three toothed one eyed boyfriend to call her a bad parent and demand a lie detector test. Ug. Ug. Ug.

* What has happened to fashion? Topshop is currently full of floral sacks, Primark has gone back to its pastel sportswear roots and Hennes is mass market new rave shit for teenagers downstairs (i.e incredibly individual clothes, but worn by every mong who derives fun from hanging around bus stops with cans of red stripe on a saturday night, which totally defeats the point) and boring houmous coloured work clothes upstairs.
What is a girl to do? I would make my own clothes except I fear I would end up with new rave sacks; a terrible compromise.

No comments: